10 Ways Technology Could Have Improved Mayberry

The Andy Griffith Show was a wonderful road trip through pure Americana, wasn’t it? Rural country living at its best, rustic simplicity and bliss. So what could be better than that, you ask? How about just a smidgeon of 21st century enhancement. Just enough to make things go a bit more smoothly. Here are 10 ways that technology could have improved Mayberry:

  1. MP3 Players Surely Andy would be grateful for the option of cranking up some tunes with his ear buds tucked in tight, so he could drown out Barney’s incessant droning.
  2. Speed Loaders With one of these devices, maybe Barney could have afforded to carry more than one bullet. Wouldn’t that just make Mayberry the picture of security?
  3. Cell Phones If Opie had had one of these in that episode where he gets bullied, Andy could have quickly in the sage words of Barney Fife nipped it in the bud.
  4. Breathalyzers If Otis had one of these gadgets, he might have been able to stop short of putting himself in jail and gone home instead. But we doubt it.
  5. Forensics It might have made life easier for Sheriff Andy, but come to think of it, most of the shows would have been a whole lot shorter too.
  6. Microwave Ovens Another two-edged sword, this one. Aunt Bee might have had more time to court a worthy suitor, but who wants a Mayberry without Aunt Bee’s good old-fashioned home cooking?
  7. Hoveround Speaking of dear old Aunt Bee, we think her trips to the grocery would have been a lot faster and productive if she’d had one of these.
  8. Fish Finder Remember that opening scene during the theme song? Andy and Opie walking down that dirt road with their fishing poles slung over their shoulders? What was missing? Fish!They might have had more luck with those rods if they had a boat with one of these. Speaking of which …
  9. Facebook If for no other reason, than for everyone in town to have the same update posted everyday: Gone fish in’!
  10. DVD’s The only technology that could possibly improve Mayberry. It allows us to watch our beloved Mayberry indefinitely, just as it is, and as it always should be.

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