10 Things Neil Armstrong Would Have Tweeted From the Moon

Ever since social media networking like Twitter came into vogue, people interact and promote themselves in entirely new ways. It’s a 24-hour world, so updates are constant, even when there isn’t any seemingly relevant information to update. So what would happen if an historical figure had some really big news to share and had a Twitter account? Let’s look at ten things astronaut Neil Armstrong would have tweeted from the Moon:

  1. That’s one small step for a man and one giant endorsement check for yours truly. RT if you love the taste of #Moon Pies.  Who could blame a man for capitalizing on such a momentous occasion? How much was astronaut pay back in 1969 anyway?
  2. MichaelCollins Sucks to be you. All this way to the moon and you’re stuck playing designated driver, watching from your window. We wonder if they had to draw straws when they planned this mission, or if Collins needed the frequent flier miles.
  3. BuzzAldrin Do me a favor and hold my seat while I step outside for some fresh air, OK? Psyche! Hey, c’mon out, the weather’s fine. Couldn’t you just see Armstrong tweeting this from the landing module while Aldrin is shutting down the LM and preparing to exit?
  4. @Houston Just in case you were wondering: No, it is not made of cheese. I guess it was just @MichaelCollins we smelled all this time.  That Armstrong, he’s such a kidder.
  5. To my wife, @JanetArmstrong – I told you I would give you the moon if you married me. RT if you can see me waving to you on TV. Call us sentimental old fluffs, but we think it’s romantic.
  6. RT if you just downloaded “Fly Me to the Moon” from iTunes. Shout out to my good friend @OldBlueEyes. See you in Vegas. Hey, it could happen. And I bet Neil gets front row seats at the Sands too.
  7. Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of … me, and my crew. Apollo 11 moon trek, baby. Eat my moon dust, Shatner.  This is what happens when you step all over virgin territory and turn up your oxygen.
  8. How much you wanna bet that in ten years they’ll have a @Wal-Mart and three subdivisions right over there in the #Sea of Tranquility? I wouldn’t have taken that bet, would you?
  9. In space, no one can hear you scream – or see you pee yourself. Guess I should have made one last call back at Cape Kennedy. Maybe there’s another endorsement deal in here for Depends.
  10. For a minute there, I thought we’d landed in New Jersey. I kid, I kid. But seriously, does this dirt remind you of Atlantic City or what? He’s here all week, folks. Try the Moon Pies.

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